Inside the home many things happen, Birthdays, Holidays, everyday living, but the pain of a wounded spouse is usually suffered silently. The most pain is when one spouse dies and leaves the other to grieve their death. Most people do not want to hear how they are suffering because they do not understand. Nothing fills that open hole of grief, especially if they do not have a relationship with Jesus.
Divorce is a death of a marriage, that no one can understand except the two people living it. No one knows or cares how deeply they hurt. Their perception of the situation is hopelessness. If they do try to tell someone they trust, it is minimized as nothing or they say it is their fault. If they had only done this then it would never have happened. They still suffer even more from not being understood. There is a whole in their whole being that creates loneliness and resentment and even fear. If it is infidelity, their whole being has been betrayed and all they want are answers and when they get answers they still do not understand. Jealousy and confusion consumes them and they cannot see how to control the overwhelming emotions.
The Spouse that suffers in situations such as emotional abuse, sexual abuse, abandonment, work alcoholism, alcoholism, gambling, abortion are carrying shame that no one sees. They keep secrets and hide the embarrassment. How do you treat these people? Do you gossip about them? Do you pray for them? Do you try to find support for them?
It is really hard to follow the commandments of the Bible and teaching ofJesus in regards to marriage. We as Christians need to be as much help as we can in this wicked world that teaches that there are no consequences for sin. Communication is so important, especially positive words that heal not harmful words the wound. Hopefully they do not shut the spouse out with not communication. Even in good marriages spouses are in pain. They suffer problems with children, money, making decisions and both agreeing. When both do not agree they are suffering and can cause each other deep wounds with their words. It is good for them to look at themselves and make a good confession to prevent wounding each other. Without Jesus as our rock and the word of God as our guide, our pain remains and we make decisions that are not our best interest or our spouses. We remain wounded and continue in our pain.
1 Corinthians 13: 4-7
Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, [love] is not pompous, it is not inflated,
it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury,
it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth.
It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
- Love never fails.